special dreams

red light flashes, blinds us
and sets our blood in motion;
frantic rhythm winds us,
twists us to exhaustion.

special dreams
don't survive the night;
sighs and screams
dissolve in light.

the world ends in our vicinity
and our brains are in flames;
time stretches to infinity
and we move in freeze frames.

our selves are lost, yet regained,
enhanced but somehow diffused
and we're completed but drained
of trifles, sensation-infused.

special dreams
don't survive the night;
sighs and screams
dissolve in light.

ssshhh... hush now

ssshhh... hush now...
can you hear the wind howl?
it bears the cries of wolves.
ssshhh... hush now
and you can hear their prowl
and far off the sound of hooves.
...
and god, how the wind howls.

ssshhh... hush now...
can you see them drawing near?
they have picked up your scent.
ssshhh... hush now
and you can smell your own fear
in wait of the legions hell sent.
...
and oh, how the wind howls.

ssshhh... hush now...
can you feel them gripping you?
they're clutching your mind.
ssshhh... hush now
cause you know you want them to
if they'd only turn you blind.
...
and please... stop that wind howl.

shoes that fit

the cold light of morning
creeps unto the platform
and nightbirds are mourning
for the upcoming storm;

rain starts falling heavily
and drenches a rising feeling;
trains roll in steadily -
the farthest going looks appealing.

looking for a pair of shoes that fit,
walking shoes
for staying blues
and a favourable moment to split.

the cold light of morning
accompanies whistles blowing
and the rainfall is mourning
for what i'm never bawling

and while i sigh heavily,
nightbirds sleep and songs die out,
trains roll in steadily
and i jump on just to get out.

looking for a pair of shoes that fit,
walking shoes
for staying blues
and a favourable moment to split.

street with no name

tear the pictures from their frame,
release the rat from the maze,
break every rule of the game;
self-saturated, lowered gaze,
hit and run, avoid all blame,
change my life, change my ways,
move on a street with no name.

on a street with no name
i where i long to be now -
was it high on desert plane?
a no one without name
is what i've morphed into now,
featureless, profane.

tear the pictures from their frame,
they don't mean much anymore;
break every rule of the game
that make both eyes and heart sore.
hit and run, avoid all blame...
soon as i get up from the floor
move on a street with no name.

on a street with no name
i where i long to be now -
was it high on desert plane?
a no one without name
is what i've morphed into now,
featureless, profane.

someday

someday you will ache,
someday you will hurt,
someday you will break,
someday your heart will spurt.

someday you will know,
someday you'll trust fate,
someday you'll let it go,
someday will be too late.

someday you will heal,
someday you'll understand,
someday you will feel,
someday will be the end.

someday you'll explain,
someday you'll be sorry,
someday you'll feel pain,
someday... the end of story.

sinful gods

A flaming sword shreds heaven in two
And hell spits out its demon crew.
Writhing in agony, terror in eyes
Sinful gods are falling from skies.

The four riders couldn’t spread such griefs
As the martyrdom of false beliefs:
A million dream worlds shatter in seconds;
As a safe haven only insanity beckons

The Creator has risen anew
To waylay the worshipped few.
Christianity agonising dies:
Sinful Gods are falling from skies.

schizophrenia

Ghosts from the past
Caught up at last.
Tangled in chains,
Writhing in pains:

Schizophrenia setting in
As the cracks in mind begin .

Sickened by lust,
Getting down fast:
Shallowness stains
Sacred terrains.

Tempted to believe in sin
Watch depression kicking in.

The die is cast;
Broken is trust;
Confusion reigns;
Nothing remains;

Schizophrenia setting in
As the cracks in mind begin.

silently just cry

i wish i could just split in two
like i do before i sleep
kill the part that is untrue
and silently just weep

over me that lays there murdered
bid that made up face goodbye
drop crosses i have shouldered
and silently just cry

i wish i could declare defeat
weave those thorns into a crown
tie a boulder to my feet
and silently just drown

go down until i hit the ground
ache for what i never felt
wait patiently till i am found
then silently just melt

sacred beltane dance

sacred Beltane dance:
fires blazing,
voices raising
while the deer stags prance.

sacred Beltane dance:
woods humming,
feet drumming,
blood boiling in veins.

***
sacred Beltane dance:
morning breaking,
life awaking,
shaking off the trance.

slayer

Many a knight pursues a quest
For honour, glory, things that pass.
In blind fury they headlong charge
The mighty beast that they awake;
Most leave the filed in Charon’s barge,
Corpses charred by the ancient drake.
With faith in forces they possess
Few walk upright through the test.

The fame of Slayer one so wins
Like did St. George in ancient time:
A dragon less now walks the Earth
And fools rejoice and raise their prayers.
Yet, Earth is dragons’ since its birth
And mere usurpers are the slayers.
The guilt heavy as is great the crome,
Their true trial but now begins.

To earn redemption they now must
Wash clean of sacred blood their hands:
The worst of pains tortures their minds
- A pain only a Slayer feels;
It’s pain that tears and pain that binds
- A pain only a Dragon heals.
A Slayer’s quest thus never ends:
Heal wounds with dragon’s aid and trust.

silver sickle

Silver sickle on the rise
Cuts open the heavens
And out fly the ravens -
Souls of dead that roam the skies.

Raindrops touch windowpanes
While black wings touch dreams
And ere the night wanes
Vows are sealed with moonbeams.

Silver sickle in descent
Cuts in two what should be one;
Yet some seals can't be undone
And all is as it is meant.

sleep (shadows follow)

The remedy of counting sheep
Has failed in bringing me release.
There's no escaping and no peace.
The shadows follow in my sleep.

I wake up soaked and tremor
From my nightmare's reign supreme.
A cold grip of lovecraftian terror
Enfolds and chokes me in my dream.

Like black velvet a vision descends.
There's no way I can keep my mind hollow.
'Cross the line where consciousness ends
In my sleep shadows follow.

so long (and then... he left)

'So long!'... and then... he left
Keys dying on the floor.
Shards of broken glass
cut wounds drawing wine.

'So long!'... and then... she wept
Dry tears to a leaning door.
In dark one could guess
Her stern set jawline.

sapphire blue

Drops of tears, drops of rain
Are prisms I look at the world through:
Take in the sacred, the profane
Dispersed in shades of sapphire blue.

Hints of oceans, patches of skies,
Breathtaking moments encapsuled in haiku:
The world seen through my eyes
Is filled with shades of sapphire blue.

sense of humour

The gods have lost their sense of humour.
There's naught but frowns on each of their face.
Revenge growing like some grotesque tumour
Is oozing fire and brimstone all over the place.

They send down storms, lightning and thunder
And all the good souls choke on their prayers;
This whole sorry creation is torn asunder,
The Earth shudders to the core of its layers.

We've laughed at the thought of fighting the odds
And the last thing to say is I love you more
For the comfort of knowing that unlike the gods
We've kept intact our sense of humour.

skies of lead

I am one single giant bruise
From the never ending strain
Of repelling thoughts so obtuse
That they all throw at my brain.

Cleanse my eyes of shades of pain;
Erase the thoughts of our demise;
Send all remorse down the drain
So they may reflect the skies.


Tears fall down from skies of lead,
Dark and heavy as my soul.
They awake a spirit supposedly dead
And relentlessly continue to roll.

And the rain becomes me
Just when you become the skies:
Weep me over this lonely city
To clear the sadness from your eyes.

silent conclusion

To escape the loneliness
It would take some more than death:
Melting back in nothingness
Like in a bubble acid bath;
Let it dissolve all consciousness
And one by one all threads of thought,
All the ideas that have come to pass
And the empires they have wrought.
Fill my mind with emptiness
Instead of this whirlpool of illusion,
Bringing my self-celebrating mass
To a perfectly silent conclusion.

still waters

Still waters run deep.
Is there someone who dares to dive?
Eyes closed, take a leap,
Trust the waters to keep you alive.

Still waters call out.
Is there someone who’s chosen to hear?
Believe beyond all doubt,
Trust the waters in spite of your fear.

Still waters embrace.
Is there someone who’d take the chance?
Search below surface,
Trust the waters, abandoned in dance.

suicidal rhymes

my life's gone to waste,
sped right by me
and i've developed a taste
for melancholy.
a row of faces of foes and of friends
smile, sneer or cry;
silhouettes waving their hands
pass my inner eye.

good needs repeating. wrong calls for righting.
they sure are a-changing, the times
but all i do is sit here writing
suicidal rhymes.

the world's gone to waste
so rapidly
and i've developed a taste
for apathy.
a row of faces, people never met
cry silent cries
but i haven't taken note yet
of pleas in their eyes.

quite certainly now would make a good start.
they sure need some changing, these times,
yet all i do is keep pouring my heart
in suicidal rhymes.

silence on brokeback

there is silence on brokeback.

the river flows its steady path.
green bursts in winter's aftermath.
there's a rustle of life that never leaves.
the wind whispers as though it grieves.

and yet, there is silence on brokeback.

there is bleating from thousands of sheep.
there's coyotes' howls interrupting sleep.
the one thing that isn't, is entwined laughter.
so from now on until ever after

there will always be silence on brokeback.

somewhere, sometime (love happens)

two by two all souls should rhyme
like puzzle pieces falling in place.
love happens. somewhere, sometime.

angel wings enfold you in embrace
and everything is just a perfect fit,
like puzzle pieces falling in place.

affection, love, passion starlit
make woe and worry be gone soon
and everything is just a perfect fit.

sweeping over you like a monsoon
love will cleanse your heart of pain,
make woe and worry be gone soon.

to get lifted and enter an angel's domain,
all you need is love, the beatles said.
love will cleanse your heart of pain.

to keep the world moving ahead
and two by two make all souls rhyme,
all you need is love, the beatles said.
love happens. somewhere, sometime.

sickness of mind

black eyes give the world a gloomy tinge,
i cringe.
and though pale faced i still back away
from grey.
like through smokey glass they stare at me,
i flee.
seeking refuge from a leaden spring shower,
i cower
and while my self begins to sliver
i quiver.

sickness of mind,
disease of the soul
and ails undefined
are taking their toll.

the light that guided me hurts my eye,
i cry.
the arm that reached out to steady my stagger
- a dagger.
i run, but where i turn there's a wall,
i fall.
the friendly face bent upon me is a mask -
grotesque
and while my self begins to sliver
i quiver.

sickness of mind,
disease of the soul
and ails undefined
are taking their toll.

sides

everyone has a different take
on what love is, what it means
and none is necessarily fake:

a matter of sides - many goals, many means.

if you're supposed to be the other side
of me,
then if i look on the other side
i'll see
and if i reach out to the other side
you'll be.

should've known it all along
you'd be impossible to find.
i started the quest out wrong:

a matter of sides - how could i've been so blind?

if you're supposed to be the other side
of me,
then if i look on the other side
i'll see
and if i reach out to the other side
you'll be.

silver screen selves

i am joined by ally and amelie,
silver screen versions of me;
looking for a higher meaning
at the cost of mental well being;
playing games of hide and seek
always ending in deceit;
prayed to love and lost belief,
then turned inward for relief;
chatting with a dancing child
who had no chance of getting wild;
clutching a glass, unreadable face,
hiding in crowds the tears' trace;
yet my silver screen selves smile
making it all seem worthwhile:
looking for a higher meaning
at the cost of mental well being.
i am joined by ally and amelie,
silver screen versions of me.

sharp

as sharp as an unsheathed sword
was every single word
that you ever said to me,
yet true as true can be.

funny how you turn words to knives,
toy with them, toy with lives
and calling mine out as lies
toy with me like a cat with mice.

your wit was as sharp as your tongue,
yet one time you were darn wrong:
words can't mend what words have broken,
knives are thrust once sharp words spoken.

soulless

you would be so rich in feeling
if you only stole less;
instead of providing healing
you left me soulless.

judas couldn't have done better
had he touched my lips,
make a whole world shatter
at his fingertips.

such a blissful kiss
should've been faultless.
was a dementor's kiss -
left me soulless.

sanctuary

be my angel and i'll be your devil.
i'll seduce you to the fire.
fits well with my self portrait of rebel -
oh never mind, i'm such a liar.

i'm just looking in you for a refuge,
an altar where i don't have to kneel,
a religion that won't make me stooge.
be my sanctuary where i can heal.

this adamant shape of ice -
if i tear it off from me
do you think it will suffice
to grant me sanctuary?

if i cut me horns and clip my wings
will you turn into my saviour?
shelter me from everything?
grant me peace of mind that i can savour?

i'm just looking in you for a refuge,
an altar where i don't have to kneel,
a religion that won't make me stooge.
be my sanctuary where i can heal.

so catch me if you can

admire my wingspan:
gone before i arrive.
so catch me if you can
but never alive.

this is the ultimate hatching:
breaking the shell.
by the whispers i'm catching
you take it pretty well.

this is the big getaway,
the great escape -
the one you dream of every day,
away from the cityscape.

this is my moment of glory
never anticipated,
the shedding of woe and worry,
all things you-related.

admire my wingspan:
gone before i arrive.
so catch me if you can
but never alive.

swarm of butterflies

this swarm of butterflies
i seem to have swallowed
is linked to the spark in your eyes
and all the things that followed

a swarm of butterflies
breaking free of their cocoons
mirorred in your eyes
as i went shooting for the moon

the wings of butterflies
swooped down on me today
first i saw them in your eyes
then they carried us away

strikes me

conviced myself you're one who likes me;
now i'm getting over this elation.
come to think of it it strikes me
it's not real love, just infatuation.

it was peculiar, so very unlike me
to get drunk on naught but sour wine.
come to think of it it strikes me
they're homeless now, those dreams of mine.

spraycan

the entries in my diary are like grafitti
embellishing sad grey walls,
adding colours, and thus taking pity
on a lifetime of downfalls.

i have a spraycan full of stories
to turn prison cells into dancehalls;
golden glitter to spray over the sorry-s
smeared in black on all walls.

i have a spraycan for grafitti
i use on lives and minds and souls,
trying hard to cover all the nitty-gritty,
at least till the next rain falls.

scraps

chew on scraps they throw you
and do the things they tell you;
there's a reason, they'll sure show you,
why they chop you up and sell you.

they count you up then split you
and say you're different from each other;
guess that's ok - if they don't hit you
there's no reason you should bother.

relax, let someone else decide
after you have given them your mandate.
sit back and just let it slide,
there is no reason to debate.

chew on scraps they throw you
and do the things they tell you;
there's a reason, they'll sure show you,
why they chop you up and sell you.

feed on scraps and live by scraps
and be happy not to bother;
sit back, watch the world collapse,
content you're not the author.

salty

your kiss knocked me off my feet.
nothing about it was faulty,
and yet you didn't taste sweet.
in fact, you were a bit salty.

i guess you tasted like my tear.
you had kissed it from my cheek
as your lips moved from my ear
and came upon its salty streak.

secrets

there are secrets dark and deep
buried in my soul
that I must forever keep.

immune to any sacrament,
hearts black as charcoal
demons caught me in torment.

no monsters under my bed
crawl out of a hole:
they are in roaming my head,

messing with my sanity,
out of my control,
wiping out humanity.

they are secrets dark and deep
buried in my soul
that I will forever keep.

seduction

contemplating seduction
all undesigned
happened at the junction
of both body and mind:

burning eyes on soft skin,
strong arms, gentle touch
are the elements of sin
as the moon keeps watch.

our bodies lay entangled
(which limb belongs to who?),
the sheets beneath us strangled
- our cloud of satin blue.

spider

i am filling in-betweens
trying to empty my mind;
but like flies against windscreens
i keep hitting thoughts to grind.

i am making plans with ghosts,
socialising with shadows
in the past-time i love most:
dragging myself out of lows.

conversating with the spider
that hangs down from my ceiling:
a valliant moonbeam rider
- that must be quite a feeling!

i count the letters in my bin:
words used to the very last.
the soft breezed kiss on your skin
- i sent to seal up the past.